A Not-So-Triumphant (And Kinda Anticlimactic) Return

Hello, world.

It’s been a while (NOTE: it hasn’t, actually. But I wrote this post before the one I put up the other day). So long, in fact, that I might suggest the internet has entirely forgotten my existence (but not really, because the internet is super creepy and remembers everything about all of us). I might suggest that my readers have forgotten my existence as well. If I did not assume that 99% of my readers share my DNA. Which I do.

But I digress.

My point is this: blogging hasn’t happened in a while. There are reasons. Good ones, even. Like that I’ve devoted the bulk of my creative energies to crafting novels instead. Like that I have a real-life full-time job to perform. Like that, well… blogging is hard.

That third one is the real kicker, you guys. I used to chronicle a very narrow scope of subjects. Namely, food and baseball. And I never lacked for ideas. Seriously. Never. You’d think that starting this blog here a few years back and removing all restrictions as far as subject material goes would have made things even easier. Wouldn’t you? Well, if you wouldn’t, you’re far more discerning than I. Congrats.

Yep. As it turns out, the primary reason for my blogging dryness is that I’ve failed to come up with a thing worth writing about. Some writer I’ve turned out to be.

The problem isn’t a sense of not-enoughness so much as too-muchness. Infinite possibilities sound great in theory, but they’re quick to cripple the chronically indecisive.

And by “the chronically indecisive”, I mean me.

In short, there are just too many possibilities.

And I’m here now, but I hope you don’t think that means I’ve found my way out of this dubious labyrinth. In point of fact, this whole post so far has been a substanceless attempt to talk/write my way out of it.

Given these issues, you may be wondering why I think I need to start trying to blog again in the first place. It is a reasonable question. Fortunately, I have an actual answer. More than one, in fact!

First, because writing is what writers do. And scope-broadening is healthy.

Second, as someone who hopes to one day publish her works of fiction, I am aware of the need to establish more of a presence online (look out Twitter and Instagram… you may be next).

And third. To borrow the words of Henry Van Dyke, “Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very quiet if only those birds sing there that sang best.” My talents are meager, but I yet believe I’m meant to exercise them. And that’s the only way they’re going to improve anyway, isn’t it?

With these things in mind, I’ve managed to eke out a few possibilities in the subject-matter department. They are as follows…

Faith. This is a top prospect (I mean, all I have to do is plagiarize my own journals). But it’s also a bit ridiculous. My faith is a mustard-seed level thing. It feels arrogant to consider inflicting it on the general public. Although, yes… I’m considering it anyway. It’s such a fine line between humility and arrogance.

Writery stuff. I am not quite sure how this would work. I could lecture people on adjectives, I guess. I know a little about adjectives. And made-up words (like “writery”). But that’s about it.

Books. As in, book reviews. This would be a fantastic idea if it weren’t so terrible. I’m awful at reviews. What I could do, though, is recommend books for your children. Particularly, like, 10-12 year old home schooled boys.

Assorted snobby cultural observations. By which I basically mean talking about how what the world needs now is love, sweet love, as if I were the first person ever to come by the idea. (If you saw my previous post, then you’ll know I already got a head start on this one.)

Lists. For absolutely anything. If I could use a list for every post, I don’t think I’d have to be overwhelmed by the possibilities at all.

Domesticity. The main reason I’m including this as an option is because I love the word domesticity. Throwing in soup recipes and extolling the virtues of coconut oil with any of these other things would be random, at best. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still do it, if the demand was there.

As ever, I welcome all input and further suggestions.

This isn’t my first introductory kind of blog post. Every time I write one, it feels like I’m this character in sun-glasses and a trench-coat, pulling my shady van alongside each of you, opening the door, and saying, “Get in.” So I guess the main thing I want to say is, thank you for not running and screaming.

You’re all my favorites. As a token of my gratitude, please enjoy this photo of a baby sloth in a tea cup.

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2 thoughts on “A Not-So-Triumphant (And Kinda Anticlimactic) Return

  1. TamaraShoemaker says:

    I vote for all of the above. But especially book reviews/recommendations. For obvious, and purely selfish, reasons. 😉 But also because I love that you love fantasy, and since I write fantasy, I want to know your thoughts on it. And because I love your style of writing, even, and especially, book reviews, much as you dislike the task yourself. So there we go. My reasons.

    Like

    • Elizabeth says:

      Thanks, Tamara. I like your reasons. 🙂 Some fantasy bookishness will definitely have to go down in the future.

      P.S. I didn’t see this comment until now. I would like to blame various technological outlets for this oversight, but it is probably my fault. Apologies.

      Like

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